Sometimes, the Christmas festivities, which are usually filled with joy and celebration, can become a real nightmare for those who have experienced a strong>recent separation. Facing Christmas after a breakup is a delicate and complex process, but it can be gone through with serenity and self-compassion.
Let’s see how.
Emotional Reality
When a person faces Christmas after separation, they must recognize and accept the emotions that arise. Allowing yourself to feel those emotions is a crucial step in the emotional healing that will lead to recovery.
It is totally normal to experience a wide range of emotions, from sadness to nostalgia, or even sometimes relief. /strong> of having walked away from a toxic relationship or person. We must understand that there is no right answer to how someone should feel after a breakup, no matter when it may be.
We call this, allowing ourselves to feel that whole range of emotions, emotional authenticity, and it is a very powerful tool. Accepting and being able to express your feelings encourages the release of emotional burden, and therefore, encourages much deeper healing.
Separation and self-care
A very important part of recovering from a separation is self-care. In the midst of the festivities, it is very easy to neglect ourselves, and it can be harmful to our mental health.
But how do we avoid it?
The idea is to meet all our needs, both physical and emotional. Some ways to do it are:
- Practice healthy habits: don’t binge eat, get regular exercise and get adequate rest.
- Relaxation tactics: meditation, writing, painting… anything that helps you clear your mind a little.
- Healthy environments: one of the keys to having a good Christmas after a separation is to avoid environments that cause stress. You should not fulfill any obligation at this time except with yourself, and it is necessary to make yourself understand this first.
What if there are children involved in the separation?
If there are children involved in the separation, it is essential to establish clear boundaries and maintain as open communication as possible with the other party.
It is best to talk in advance about how you plan to approach the festivities, when you will be with the children, if you are going on a trip, or simply what the Three Kings are going to bring you.
If the breakup is difficult or painful, and direct communication is not feasible, consider using a mediator to avoid misunderstandings and problems. This will help make the environment much calmer and the children will not suffer unnecessary stress or discomfort.
Time management during the holidays
A fundamental point to keep in mind, especially during Christmas, is how we are going to manage time, both with the children and alone.
To do this, it is best to plan your commitments and activities in advance, but maintain a wide margin to be able to adjust plans if necessary.
This added flexibility reduces pressure and increases your adaptability to unforeseen situations, and makes the distribution of time with the children and your ex-partner lighter.
Reinvent Christmas!
A breakup can become the perfect opportunity to reinvent these holidays and create new traditions that are meaningful to you.
What makes you happiest? Are there any activities you would like to add to your Christmas? Do it!
It can also be an ideal occasion to explore your own tastes and preferences without having to be tied to previous traditions.
But be careful! It is important to understand that creating new traditions does not mean forgetting the past, but rather building on it. That is, there is no need to make a “clean slate.” We can mix elements we like from previous traditions and “spice” them up a bit with our new discoveries. This will also encourage the creation of a space for evolution and personal growth.
How to deal with separation?
Facing the holidays after a separation can become a moment of positive reflection and personal growth. Instead of taking the breakup as an insurmountable obstacle, the secret is to use it as a catalyst for your personal evolution.
Some ways to use this new introspection are:
- Examine your goals and objectives for the future.
- Rediscover yourself.
- Make new decisions for your life.
- Renew your perspective towards the future.
- Allow you to value your experiences, mistakes and successes from the past.
- Reflect on your previous emotions and relationships, and how to improve.
If you still find it difficult to face the festivities on your own, seek professional help. Therapy and emotional support are valuable resources in these situations, and a trained professional can offer you guidance and practical tools to get through the holidays.
Remember that seeking help is not a sign of weakness, but rather an act of courage and self-care. If you want to know how we can help you, contact us.
Christmas, your new ally
The holidays are favorable times to connect with your loved ones. Social support can be essential after a separation. Simply sharing your feelings can provide you with comfort and valuable insights. There are times when simply being surrounded by people you know love you can be what makes the difference in your emotional well-being.
However, you have to be careful with these social events. Sometimes social pressure can lead you to try to meet unrealistic expectations, such as ignoring your emotions or having the obligation to constantly be happy and having a good time.
Instead of giving in to these expectations, it is very important to maintain the emotional authenticity we talked about before. If you feel the need to be alone or not attend certain events, do so without hesitation. In this case, intuition will always be your best friend.
Remember that, as you face Christmas, you are writing your own story of resilience and renewal.
From Psicología Ítaca, we want to congratulate you on the holidays and wish you a great start to the new year.
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- christmas
- couples
- divorce
- separation
